We have a trip to Thailand tentatively planned for fall 2012. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this trip.
Excitement- I am so incredibly happy and excited to be able to travel to the beautiful country of Thailand and to meet Wor's extended family. The person I am most excited to meet is his grandmother who Wor loves and respects very much and who I have never really gotten to talk to. I hope translating a conversation is easier in person because the phone method did not really work. I am excited to see the place that Wor spent his childhood. I am also excited to be able to see many new places and to finally cross "travel out of the country" off my list. We will probably get to travel with my sister-in-law which is also something I look forward to. I have really enjoyed getting to know her and want to get to know her better. Whats better than a 20 hour flight across the world for that ?!?!?! ;)
Respect- I want to be respectful of the people of Thailand and show my respect. I want to know how to do this. Strangely my husband is not the best person to ask. I think it is second nature to him just like how we show respect and other things in our culture is second nature to us.
Nervous- I often have a hard time controlling this emotion. It seems that the parents I talk to completely understand why I feel nervous about a trip across the world while the non-parents find it almost offensive. So let me make this part clear. I have never even thought that a trip out of the country was in my near future, I don't have a passport or an idea of how to obtain one (I am sure a quick google search will set me straight) and I can count the number of times I have flown on one hand. That makes me nervous enough because I am someone who hates the unexpected. I want to know every bit of plans as far in advance as possible. Now I am adding a baby into the mix. A 20 hour flight and a 12 hour time change with a 18 month old is terrifying. And trust me when I say I am not the only parent in our home that is terrified.
Fear- This is the part I don't typically share with people. I fear crazy things what won't ever happen. But they still pop into my head. And most of them wouldn't be there except I think about Lily in each of them. Each of them is as likely to happen to us in our home as they are in Thailand but they still come to me and they still terrify me.
There are other practical matters that don't really have a place in my emotions that I think about. How to make sure we have food for Lily to eat. Food handling is different there and I really do not want a sick baby to deal with on top of a 180 degree sleep schedule swap and she is lactose intolerant and will need to be drinking cows milk while there. The shots we all need to schedule. Maybe this should have gone in the fear section because I have a completely irrational fear of shots (I have discovered recently it is not of needles) and avoid getting shots at pretty much any cost.
The most overwhelming emotion I feel is definitely excitement. I know how much it means to Wor to be able to go to Thailand to see his grandmother. We have both talked about how this quite possibly will be our only trip there as a family and we want to enjoy it and I want it to be special.